


The Sun Doesn't Always Shine

by AceTheSmallGiant



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Autism, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Multi, Polyamory, Trans Hinata Shouyou
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-08 22:51:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18904291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceTheSmallGiant/pseuds/AceTheSmallGiant
Summary: Hinata lets the past get to him. Kageyama finds him stimming unsafely.





	The Sun Doesn't Always Shine

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fanfiction ever to be posted on here. It might be a little OOC and I apologize greatly. But please, enjoy.

Hinata found himself pacing around the living room flapping his hands angrily, shaking his head every now and then. He was currently alone in the apartment he shared with the other first years, and his mind was racing. It had started when he tried on a few shirts his dad sent, but being transphobic they were all girly. Nevertheless Hinata had wanted to see how they fit, and ended up in a state of panic at how prominent his chest was. He put his binder on again and the shirts still make him show. He was pacing now, trying to get the terrible urge to rip his skin off and start all over out of his system but it wasn't working. The thoughts of his parents wouldn't stop, it was like an overflowing faucet.  
'Worthless.'  
'Fake.'  
'Not trying hard enough.'  
He flapped harder, and sunk down in one corner of the room, drawing his knees to his chin and began rocking, flapping with one hand and pulling his hair with the other.   
'Nobody will want me on the team anymore. I'm pathetic. A mess. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.'   
The mantra of bad thoughts continues as he jabs his fingers into his mouth biting down hard, hitting his head into the wall.   
'This is why nobody likes you. You're weird. They're all going to leave you. You're ridiculous. Look at yourself. Stop doing that. Stop being different. Be normal for once.'   
Tears stream down his face as he hits his head harder into the wall.  
'Too hyper.'  
Thunk.  
'Quit talking so much.'  
Thunk.  
'You're such a failure.'  
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.  
'When did my shirt get so scratchy? My binder is too tight. This carpet is too rough I can't I can't I can't-’  
He's still rocking as keys turn in the lock.  
Kageyama pushes open the door, sighing as he nudges off his shoes and sets his bag down in the den area.  
"Pardon the intrusion," he calls out into their apartment, not seeing Hinata anywhere. A strangled cry reaches his ears; concern and panic sets in immediately.   
He races through the house, and halts as he spies a tuft of orange behind the couch. He rounds the furniture and is on the floor immediately as he spots Hinata in the corner. He reaches out, his hands hovering over his boyfriend, unsure if touch is the best thing for him right now. Hinata confirms his doubt as he notices Kageyama reaching for him and curls in on himself tighter.  
"Okay, okay, no touch. I won't touch." Kageyama's voice is a whisper.   
"I'll be right back. I'm going to get your bag. I'll be back."   
He stands slowly as to not scare him, and once he's out of sight he bolts towards the bedroom they share. He tosses clothes aside and moves books until he finds the blue, crow patterned bag on a closet shelf. Hinata had spotted that bag on a mall outing one afternoon, flapping happily as he rambled on and on about how perfect it was to hold all his stim toys and objects. Kageyama hurries back to where Hinata is, and gently sits in front of him.  
"Hey. Bad day?"   
Hinata just whimpers.   
Kageyama unzips the bag and pulls out a yellow tangle, and an orange shark chew necklace. He presses the tangle against Hinata's fingers and he jerks away.  
"No Hinata, look. It's your tangle."   
He touches it against his fingers again, furrowing his brow in worry. The orange haired teen slowly closes his fingers around the toy and starts to wind it around his fingers, still flapping but not as aggressively as before. Kageyama touches the shark to the fingers in his mouth, and it takes a minute before he replaces his knuckles with the chew.   
Kageyama sits there, noticing that he's stopped hitting his head, the tangle and chew preventing him from hurting himself any further and he breathes out in relief. The smaller of the two uncurls himself, and lays his head in Kageyama's lap. The raven haired teen looks down in surprise, gently placing his fingers in Hinata's hair, stroking over the place he was tugging at earlier.   
"Is this okay?"  
Hinata nods, closing his eyes, taking deep breaths. He opens his eyes after a few moments.  
"I. I'm... I." More tears begin to fall and Kageyama frowns.  
"Shh. You're okay. Just sign."   
Hinata nods, closing his eyes as he puts the tangle down.  
"I'm sorry Kageyama. I got caught up in my own thoughts again" he signs.  
Kageyama feels anger and rage pulse behind his sternum. He knew all about Hinata's parents and how they've pushed him far beyond what any parents should emotional wise. It was a wonder the teen was so bright and bubbly as he was given his situation.  
"Don't let them do that to you."  
Hinata opens his eyes and Kageyama must be glaring, for he cowers a bit. Kageyama takes a deep breath and tries to relax his face.   
"You're okay Hinata. I've got you. We all do. We..." He looks away slightly frowning as a blush forms across his cheeks. "We all love you. And if you weren't you, who else would we have on the team to make us better?"   
Hinata just nods, his eyes sparkling from the tears moments before, but instead of sadness all Kageyama can see is understanding, doubt, and love swirled into one. He kisses his forehead causing the smaller of the two to laugh gently, and he goes back to pick up his tangle.  
"Thank you Bakayama" he signs fondly.  
Kageyama just rolls his eyes in mock annoyance, going back to stroke Hinata's hair.   
'You're our sunshine. Don't ever doubt that.'  
Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Yachi find the duo on the couch later that night, Hinata snuggled into Kageyama's hoodie comfortably, his binder removed for the night. Kageyama has his head against Hinata's, drooling slightly. The trio giggle and pictures are taken before they turn off the lights, save for the hall light. If Kageyama found said pictures and agreed that Hinata was adorable in his hoodie a d in slumber, get would deny it if you asked. And if Tsukishima was caught agreeing with him, he would rather give up his dinosaur pillows before giving in.


End file.
